texts

_ccidRnt
docu:mentalKLINIK, 2007
COLOPHON 2007, LUXEMBOURG

This issue is a collector’s item
Only 500 copies are published.

The issue questions what docu:mentalKLINIK is and how it works by means of the issue’s concept _ccidRnt, in the form of a fiction interview.

_Who are the founders of docu:mentalKLINIK?
We found it. It was an attempt on our side to expand mentalKLINIK. We have a broad range of interests and we found docu:mentalKLINIK in order to cover subjects that we could not as :mentalKLINIK. Our personal sensitivities urge us to carry our journey through a variety of disciplines, to think about different issues.

_What made you decide to attend COLOPHON 2007? 
docu:mentalKLINIK can only be realized inside a publication, printed or digital. 15000 magazines from all over the world are attending Colophon 2007.  Therefore this is a once in a lifetime opportunity we do not want to miss.

_What is your COLOPHON issue about?
Actually we decided that our Colophon issue should be about ourselves as much as the issue’s main concept. This issue elaborates on the concept of _ccidRnt.

_Why this concept?
We find such questions very cliché and passé.

…..

_Would you care for some more tea and biscuits? 

Is she offended?

_How big is your team?
We don’t care about the quantity; quality is what matters for us.

_Are you a magazine / do you consider yourself to be a magazine?
No.

_What are you then?
We believe that if you read our introduction text  ‘the meaning of docu:mentalKLINIK’ in detail, this will answer your question. 

I believe she did not read our text
By the way we hate the gendered 3rd person singular pronouns…
I am not actually sure if we included it in our COLOPHON issue…
I can’t remember either …
We should have…
Otherwise people will think we are just another magazine and they will not take us seriously…” 

_What are the difficulties you are confronted with?
So far we did not experience any difficulties. We don’t like complaining, we would rather do our best to continue. 

_What would be “the” thing to improve your magazine? 

Actually as we have mentioned before, we do not define docu:mentalKLINIK as a magazine.

….

Would you care for some more sweets? You should try these ones.
They are a specific kind of Ottoman hard-candies called “Akide”. They symbolize faithfulness.   

_Who are the readers of your magazine?
We are not a magazine. The readers of  docu:mentalKLINIK are the readers of those magazines in which we actualize our issues. It is therefore impossible to specify any particular class of readers. It depends on in which sort of a magazine we publish our docu:mentalKLINIK issue. This can be a business magazine, one on art or a fashion magazine. There are also those readers who buy those magazines specifically to collect our issues. We are collectible you see. Some publications on the Internet and TV invited us as well –

_In any case how would you get involved with TV? TV and magazines are very different mediums.
These mediums are no longer very different or apart from each other. Within the last couple of years interactions between them has been growing and in the future there will even be a broader range of interactions between different mediums. We are particularly interested in such interactions. In this sense, our journey in these yet unidentified areas is like an adventure.

_Is remaining independent important to you?
On the contrary docu:mentalKLINIK is a form that cannot be actualized independently. It has to take place in a larger form, be it printed or digital. It is fed from and dependent on it. This is why we have come here in the first place, to meet all those 15 000 magazines. Imagine, 15 000 magazines on which we can potentially depend.
By the way it is not 15 000, it is only…
Whatever. In Turkish we have a saying stressing the importance of dependency. It would literally translate into English as “apples and pears can grow in the same garden ”

Was it apples and pears or apples and apricots….
In any case how would they know…
Does it really matter…
Literal translations never work…


Telephone rings

Hello
No, no it is ok. Tell me did everything work? 
Because of you they have not still arrived here!
Only if you had done it all!
Don’t start again…don’t… 
Yes we are here all together.
Ok then. Later.

_I believe you misunderstood my question about being independent. Independent, in the sense I use, means financing your magazine yourself without relying on an outside source...
We are not institutionalized. We are independent as long as we don’t get institutionalized. 

_Can you elaborate more on the subject of this issue? Don’t you agree that it is a bit tough? Are not enough precautions taken against _ccidRnt? Why did you choose such a subject for your Colophon issue?  
This subject provides us with methods and it creates its own plasticity. It allows us to stand on the threshold and travel to the extremes. It has the potential to take us through uneasy and uncanny areas. Precautions… On the contrary, do precautions not bring about new ones? Don’t they further deteriorate the case? Don’t they render life more complicated? Precautions put freedom under restraint… Whereas _ccidRnt gives way to contingencies. It is productive. Undesigned. Colophon issue itself is an _ccidRnt

They still have not arrived...
What condition are they in?...
We cannot intervene in anything from here…
Bilgin is asleep…
Murat is hangover…
Kaan is so tired and careless...    
Who should we call for help?
So?

Sorry, we got distracted… How can we clarify it….For example very noisy…. a bit dirty…the colours blending…an anomaly...

_Is it very colourful indeed? 
It is not a cute colourfulness…we can no longer separate the blended colours…the colours might have melted into each other…
Questions about colour always make us uneasy.

She thinks we are doing something cute.
Hah!

_Did you describe nine different kinds of _ccidRnt as defined by Aristotle?
We are not interested in describing anything. We only create an in-between space…we then can get lost in the extended space related to the concept and in relation with it. Aristotle’s definition of 9 kinds of _ccidRnt can be one of these but we let ourselves experience the possibilities of an adventure hidden in the transition from the abstract to the concrete.

_docu:mentalKLINİIK…..to gather, to collect, being a collector? Is it about these? 
It provides the possibility to collect. It is collectable. It might be an interesting opportunity for those interested in making a collection of another form of knowledge in the  21st century .

_How do you work? What is your method?
We get invited. About a subject, for a couple of pages, for many pages, for an issue, to the publications experiencing a content crisis…we are open to different forms of relations, we are always standing on the threshold  to be invited to unidentified positions as well as identified ones. Our prices range depending on the issue and the project, we might also accept invitations with a particular budget or we can barter or ….

_How do you start working when you have a new docu:mentalKLINIK project? 
We invite others, assemble groups, and collaborate with artists.  We always finish our projects before the deadline...

Alexis: Hi
Hi Alexis...
Alexis: did they..?
Not yet. Not yet. Bye. 

To decide a concept took how many days..
how many nights....
long hours of labour...
but it is not over when you finally decide the  concept....
rather it was just the beginning...
meetings day and night....do research, scan documents, collect images, convince each other....
and then the _ccidRnt.

_What is your gain from docu:mentalKLINIK?
We want to be independent. We work and we deserve it. We need to dress up as well. We need to buy clothes you know.

People in this century still think that such things so not deserve to be paid....
This is unbelievable...

Telephone rings
It is TNL
What???
What do you mean, is this a joke?
No it can’t be....
Quick give us the address...


Actually we are very sorry but we need to leave now. Perhaps we can continue tomorrow.
_Ok, I also have to attend the presentations. Thank you for today. See you tomorrow then. Same place, same time?

Yes. Thank you.
Why us!!!!
Why now!!!
Damn…
Ooooooooffffffffffffffff
Blah blah blah
Na
Aaaaaaaaaghhh
Oh dear...
Ay ay ay ay ay ay ay ay ay ay ay ay
Ouch!
Don’t..
Gosh
Oh my God!
What now???????
Fuck!!!!!!

_You look very tired today.
Changes in weather always have an affect on us. At least we had a good night’s sleep at the Grand Hotel Mercure Alfa. We can proceed though…
Nobody understands the influence of weather on our lives...

We gave a good answer though...
We cannot let her know yesterday’s incidents...
That would be scandalous...
Of course we are tired...
We look tired when we are tired...
We have to  be very careful in order to cover-up as much as we can...
If we can...

_I re-read your introduction text, but I still have some questions regarding your method of working.
We believe we do not have a specific method. The most important thing is that we can actualize our issues in many different mediums and we are always looking for new collaborations. We meet new artists, new scientists everyday, we are very curious and we collaborate with people from many different areas.  We like to learn new things and enjoy meeting new people. We try to start a new documentation form. We try to find new methods to document emergent cultures. But each issue is created with a method particular to it.

_Thanks for the clarification. I want to then ask you some more about your Colophon issue’s concept. How would you define _ccidRnt?
It is a paradoxical concept. For us it has both a negative and a positive connotation…

How can we still believe it has a possible connotation after all that has happened…
What if they had turned us down …
After all it did not even look like paper anymore…
Looked like an abnormality in that room among others …
Unidentifiable… 
Impossible to repair…
At least they accepted them to ‘the room with a view’
And we have to pay the penalty fee before we leave.
Otherwise we will never be able to leave…
We are so unlucky…
Did the policeman have to be there at that exact moment!
Hah!

Only if the boxes were not in such ruins…
And what about the wind…
Almost like a storm…
Everything flew out of the boxes and one of them, as if it had to arrive at that destination, flew to that man…
On his face…  
Poor man…
Hope he is ok now…
But who would guess that hours of our hard work would end up getting a penalty for causing environmental pollution…
And this just after we got off from our car…
That terrible ride…
We cannot even estimate the damage done to the rented car…
The monument grey coating on the car transformed into blue ink  after the crash… 
But that TNL…
They caused all this…
And then they call us for a meeting and tell us they want to reimburse our money and compensate for it…
As if it is ever possible to compensate for such a thing….
Not only have they delivered to the wrong address, they have also dropped the boxes …
In rain as well…
This must be a joke…
This is pure and absolute disorientation…
To prepare an issue on _ccidRnt and then really being confronted with all these _ccidRnts…
We should have developed our POKE-YOKEs, spend more time on them…
Ok let’s get a hold of ourselves…
She might suspect something…

Sorry for the distraction. We want to answer this question carefully so we took a moment to think about it. We think that _ccidRnt embodies the potential to create chaos and anarchy but at the same time it creates beauty. Beauty is an _ccidRnt. As much as the return to the fashion of the 80s in the 21st century is regarded to be a terrible incident, today the influence of the 90s in fashion is regarded as a beautiful _ccidRnt.  It often occurs naturally but it can also be simulated artificially. It is a quality in distinction from the substance but it also reveals the substance. It stimulates anxiety but at the same time happiness. It is unexpected incident that reverses your expectations. It is poetic.

_What do you think about its significance in the world?
It has the power to change everything. It is capable of shifting our sense of time. It can speed time and cause an acceleration of the senses. We think that individuals moving at a speed above a certain level will go blind. We believe that one must not be blind to the treasures on the road leading to a house in ruins.

We were not blind on the road were we?...And yet we almost lost the treasure!...
But finally we arrived safely to the house in ruins…Us in ruins as well…All in ruins…
How we managed at the last moment to deliver the package to TNL…

We could not even see a hardcopy…
And then all those problems with the web links…
It was obvious that we would miss our flight…
If we don’t sleep at all the night before…
And the big fight we had with the boys…
We don’t even want to remember…
But we had to buy new tickets…
For the next day’s flight…
Already arriving late…
Missing our appointment at MUDAM…
We are grateful to Marie-Claude and Björn to find it in their hearts to forgive us…
And now we are pathetically trying to save appearance…
Save face…
We might succeed…
We will succeed…
Yes…
Yes…
Indeed…

In any case, we want to talk about our point of view on the qualities of _ccidRnt. It has the colour of a melted praline…
How some colours blended in print…of blush in shame…We were so ashamed after all…of crashed monument grey…
Crashed boxes in the rain…of spicy chilli pepper…The whole incident upset my stomach…of shadow purple like bruised flesh…
The moment that poor man hit the floor…of spilled blue ink…Spilled all over…of wax yellow faded under the sun

Our missed flight in the sky…

It has a sour taste…

We are so sleepless…

Like taste that remains on your pallet after eating spinach…

Our mothers feeding us spinach by force…

Has a shocking sensation like the one you have after tasting something for the first time…

For the first time so many _ccidRnts…

It is more bitter than sweet…

Sweet home…

But sweeter than spicy hot…

This bitter experience…

Though spicy as well…

It hurts a lot…

It smells like burnt asphalt…

Let us still be grateful;  what if they got burnt…

Dusted smell…

Many car trips to the publisher…

Sharp…

The Bosphorus…

It has a rough touch on the skin…

The crash… 

Like shattered glass…

The scars on our hands…

Sharp-edged…

The cover page…

It has a screaming sound…

We want to cry…

High-pitched…

The sound of falling boxes on the payment…

Like a beeping alarm… 

How could we forget to set our alarm clock and miss our flight…

_This is a very interesting approach. You lead your readers through an adventurous journey of the senses. It looks like you created for yourselves an amazing, very surprising and productive _ccidRnt. I also want to ask you one last question. What is your relationship with your printer?

We have a very creative and unique relationship with OFFSET. Sermet, one of the bosses at OFFSET is a friend with whom we share the same vision. He closely follows trends. It is a big printing house, 24 years old with 12 printing units, based in Istanbul but they also work internationally. They are the printing house of the best publications in Turkey. There are about 100 people who work there. The average age of OFFSET employees is 30. They have more than 2455 clients. What is more to tell…They are the best!

How did we let this happen…
Though they are the best, we got in such a rush and hurried them everything got messed…
Mismatched…It is all our fault…
We owe them an apology…
The fonts had a post-script error…
We could not even see the printed versions before their troubled arrival here…
The worst that could happen happened…
Here, among all these professionals we now look so amateur…
How could we not figure out before that Murat was dyslexic….
All that time…
And then we put Bilgin in charge of picking colours…
Who turns out to be slightly colour-blind…
Perhaps these symptoms were waiting for this project to come to the surface…
And Kaan always falling asleep…
Always so tired…
Uploading mostly wrong and irrelevant images…
The worst is there is not a single place where _ccidRnt is spelled correctly or has the correct font…


_Since you work with such a great printing house it must have been really easy for you. I thank you for sparing time. I have to go now. Hope you come back again. Best of luck for the future.
We appreciate your comments. Perhaps we will see each other again.

Wishful thinking….

_Hi, what a coincidence to see you here again. Since Colophon is over, you are leaving today I assume?
Hi. Yes, actually in the afternoon. Having breakfast? The buffet looks quite tasty…

Shit…
She probably saw the disaster yesterday…
If she witnessed the outcome we lost our only chance to save ourselves…
She will not even publish this interview…
We don’t have any self- confidence left…
Nobody even bothered to look at our issue…
We could not meet a single person…
Not even a single business card…
All we have now is a penalty ticket…
Our only gain is an unforgettable adventure to take with us…
We have to face our own _ccidRnt

 

Realized by :mentalKLINIK.
docu:mentalKLINIK: Yasemin Baydar, Birol Demir, Ayşe Draz
Team: Bilgin Özkan, Murat Göven, Kaan   
www.documentalklinik.com